GHOSTBUSTERS: The Return Read online

"Um...yes, well..." Nguyen said, shuffling through her notes as she tried to get the situation back on track. "Um...thank you, Doctor Venkman."

  The crowd stirred behind her, as roughly half of the news reporters rushed out to follow the story that was breaking elsewhere. The ones who stayed behind were all whispering into cell phones, creating an undercurrent of hushed noise that even the candidates could hear.

  "Our next statement will come from incumbent Mayor Arnold Lapinski," said Nguyen. "Mister Mayor?"

  Lapinski looked as though someone had just punched him in the stomach. Slowly, he turned to the camera and smiled weakly.

  "Okay. Right. Uh...thank you, jenny. In my, uh, many years of service to this great city... "

  "All right, I think I have the answer now," said Egon. "After careful consideration, weighing all of the possible scenarios, and coupled with the relevant environmental and topographical factors, one plan of action emerges clearly."

  "Yeah? What's that?" asked Winston.

  "We're going to die," said Egon.

  At the moment, it seemed difficult to argue the point. Ray, Egon, and Winston were holed up behind the Seventy-ninth Street overpass that separated Riverside Park from the West Side Highway and the river beyond. It was far enough away from the river bank to be nearly outside the creatures' reach. Actually, the largest one could stretch its neck a little beyond the overpass. However, its neck wasn't flexible enough to let it twist around to reach them - not as long as they stayed plastered to the far side of the overpass. If they tried to step away, though, they'd be fair game.

  Fortunately, by this point, they didn't have a lot of bystanders to worry about. The police had cordoned off the highway and the streets immediately adjacent to the southern end of the park. There were plenty of emergency personnel, reporters, and rubberneckers just beyond the police line, but the park was essentially clear. Unless the creatures turned out to be amphibious and started walking out of the water (which wasn't something that any of them wanted to think about right now), the civilians should be safe.

  So that just left themselves to worry about.

  "Hi, guys. Nice to see you. How've you been?"

  They looked up to see Venkman throwing himself against the overpass beside them. Like Winston, he was weanng a proton pack over his expensive suit and overcoat.

  "Fine, thanks. And you?" said Ray.

  "Oh, you know. Can't complain."

  "Shouldn't you be on television right now?" asked Winston.

  Venkrnan gestured up toward the cameras at the police line. "I think I am, actually. Smile."

  "I meant the debate."

  "Oh, that. I blew it off. It was getting dull."

  A flurry of thoughts flashed through Winston's brain. He thought about the time and effort they'd put into the campaign. He thought about what Venkman's absence during the debate might cost them. Most of all, he thought about how disappointed his mama would be. Then he thought about what she would tell him to do. He shrugged. "Aah, I guess I would've done the same thing."

  "In fact, if I recall correctly, you did do the same thing," said Venkman.

  Egon pointed at Venkman's proton pack. "And you stopped off to pick up your equipment along the way?"

  "Y'know, you guys shouldn't leave the Ectomobile unlocked like that," said Venkman. "I mean, this is New York, after all. Just anybody could come along and walk off with this stuff."

  "So I keep hearing," Egon said.

  "By the way," Venkman added, "love what you've done with the car. The concrete's a nice touch. Very downtown-exposed-brick-bohemian. "

  With a deafening roar, one of the monsters slammed into the top of the overpass.

  Venkman turned to look at Ray. "What are you grinning about?

  "Nice to have you back," Ray replied.

  Venkman returned the grin. "So what's the deal with the geckos?"

  "They're obviously some sort of fully corporeal ectoplasmic manifestation," said Egon. "Judging from the water displacement, these aren't insubstantial phantoms or wraiths. They're solid."

  "And from the way they keep screaming about Xanthador, it's pretty clear where they came from," Ray added. "But what to do about them? That one's stickier."

  "The cops tried bullets," said Winston. "Guess what - it didn't do a whole lot."

  "I'm shocked," said Venkman.

  "Yeah, but Ray and Egon didn't have much luck with nutrona wands, either," said Winston. "The things are just too powerful."

  "So how do we get rid of them?"

  "Good question," said Egon. "Technically, Nessie and her family shouldn't even exist."

  "Giant sea serpents in the Hudson River?" Venkman shrugged. "Gotta tell ya, it wouldn't surprise me what's in that water."

  "Besides that," said Ray, "Manifesting solid creatures that big takes major power. We're talking Gozer-level power. Xanthador shouldn't be that strong. Not yet, anyway."

  "Xanthador's strength has been growing as he feeds off people's fear. That's why the severity of the incidents has been increasing steadily," said Egon. "But even so, according to the prophecy, he should be a good century away from the kind of power levels it would take to manifest something on this scale."

  Approximately one block uptown, one of the smaller creatures whipped its head through a cluster of trees. The Ghostbusters pressed their bodies back against the overpass as one of the trees went hurtling past.

  "'Prophecy'? What prophecy?" asked Winston.

  Ray reached into his pocket and produced his photocopy of the parchment. He unfolded it and passed the paper to Venkman and Winston. "Here, see? Xanthador's not supposed to hit these kinds of power levels until Saturn aligns with Venus and Mars. And that's not going to happen for another hundred and seventy years."

  Venkman studied the drawing with a curious expression.

  "What's up?" asked Winston.

  "I don't know. It just looks... Familiar."

  "From your extensive studies of astronomy? Or a ticktacktoe board?" Egon said dryly.

  "No, really. I can't place it, but..." Suddenly, Venkman's eyes lit up. "Wait a minute."

  He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and drew out some papers. He shuffled through them for a moment to find the one he was looking for. "When's the soonest that the planets are supposed to line up that way?"

  "One hundred seventy years from now," Egon replied.

  "Give or take," Ray added.

  "Nope," said Venkman.

  "'Nope'?" asked Winston.

  "Nope. I can show you a place where it happens five times a day."

  "Huh?" said Ray.

  Venkman held up Ray's photocopy to display the drawing. Beside it, he held up a brochure with an illustration that showed the three planets in the same position as in the drawing.

  "Of course!" said Winston.

  "The star show!" said Ray.

  Venkrnan nodded. "At the Hayden Planetarium."

  Judging from his expression, the reporter was saying something very earnest and intense, but Janine couldn't hear what it was. She had long since turned off the sound on the television in the Ghostbusters' headquarters. There were only so many times she needed to hear about how vast the danger was, and how her "heroic, noble" friends and employers were facing certain death.

  Instead, she left the picture on while she continued to pore over the various reference materials, searching for some scrap of information that might help turn the tide. From time to time, she glanced over to see images of the rampaging serpents or - more often - endless series of talking heads as self-proclaimed "experts" speculated about the danger, possible strategies, and what might happen next.

  Maybe it was the stress that came with her concern over the Ghostbusters' safety. Or maybe she had spent so many days with ancient texts that she simply burned out. One way or the other, Janine felt as though she just couldn't bring herself to face another crumbling, yellowed page. So she decided to play a hunch instead, and turned to her computer.

  She was
clicking her way through the Web site of the New England Genealogical Society when she found what she was looking for.

  "Oh, my," she muttered.

  "So Xanthador's power is coming from the Hayden Planetarium?" said Winston.

  "Not exactly," Egon replied. "Xanthador's power comes from fear. But the planetarium show sets the stage for his ascendance by satisfying the conditions of the prophecy."

  Attached to the Museum of Natural History, the Hayden Planetarium had long served as an introduction to astronomy for countless children and adults from the New York area. One of the most popular features of the planetarium was its star shows, in which images of constellations and heavenly bodies were projected over the heads of the audience against the 360° backdrop of an immense, domed ceiling.

  "So if we can stop the show, we should be able to disrupt Xanthador's power," said Ray.

  "Theoretically. Even if it fails to disperse his current level of power, it could prevent him from growing any more powerful," said Egon. "Yet, there's also the possibility that it might accomplish nothing other than proving the prophecy wrong."

  "Unless anybody's got any better ideas, I'd say it's worth a shot," said Winston.

  "That's great, guys. Really," said Venkman, throwing back a thumb to point back over his shoulder. "But don't you think we oughtta do something about these things first?"

  As if to emphasize his point, the ground shook as one of the gargantuan serpents lunged forward to strike the far side of the overpass once again.

  "If our hypothesis proves to be correct, once we disrupt the star show, these creatures should vanish," said Egon.

  "But Peter's right," said Ray. "We can't just let these things run around loose while we head off to the planetarium."

  "What do you suggest?" said Egon. "It would take simultaneous ion streams from all four of us just to bind one of the creatures. While we're all busy restraining one creature, we'd be sitting ducks to be devoured by the other two. Besides, even if we could avoid being eaten alive, what would we do with them? They're solid, remember? Ecto-traps won't work, and we have no way to contain them. We can't just stand here holding them forever."

  "That's right. They're solid..." Winston said thoughtfully.

  "A little too solid," said Ray.

  "These things aren't any smarter than alligators, are they?" said Winston.

  One of the creatures slammed its head into the overpass once again. "I'm not seeing any candidates for Mensa here," said Venkman.

  "Then I've got an idea," said Winston.

  Slipping his nutrona wand out of its sheath, Winston walked out into the roadway. From where he stood, he could see all three of the creatures through the short tunnel beneath the overpass.

  "Uh, Winston, as your running mate, I'd have to say this is a very bad idea." Venkman turned to Egon. "Does he know what he's doing?"

  "Doubtful," said Egon.

  "I hope you have a backup candidate lined up for that deputy mayor slot, Peter," said Winston.

  "I could," Venkman said with a hint of sarcasm, "but Ray's always been a little soft on the whole crime issue thing."

  "Winston!" shouted Egon. "Come back!"

  "Nah," said Winston, trying to appear calm despite the cold sweat that was already coating his face and hands. "No problem. I've got it covered.?"

  The raised voices seemed to catch the attention of the closest creature. Winston said a quick, silent prayer and took advantage of the opening.

  He raised his nutrona wand and fired short bursts at the other two serpents. "Hey! Over here!" he yelled.

  "Puny mortal!" hissed the nearest one. "Flee in abject horror before the minions of Xanthador!"

  "Flee? From you three?" Winston shouted back, incredulous. "Yeah, right! I'm gonna kick your sorry Scottish haggis all the way back to bagpipe land!"

  Behind him, he could hear Ray say, "Um... He did hear us when we said traps don't work on these things, right?"

  "I sure hope so," Venkman replied.

  Winston had the attention of all three monsters now. They eyed him curiously as the more distant ones sailed closer through the water. None of the beasts were attacking yet, but there was no mistaking the air of impending doom that surrounded them.

  "Yeah, that's right! I'm talking to you! Y'know, I thought I'd seen some ugly mess come outta that river, but that's like roses compared to you freaks!" He punctuated his speech by striking the creatures with more short bursts from his nutrona wand, alternating among them. The bursts made the monsters wince, but their only real effect seemed to be making them even angrier.

  "He's lost his mind," said Egon.

  By this point, all three serpents were clustered together around the far side of the overpass. Growling, their heads bobbed back and forth as each of them sized up the proper instant to swallow their minuscule prey.

  Winston looked up at them through the opening in the overpass, dwarfed by their sheer scale. It occurred to him that the just the visible parts of the creatures were as tall as the apartment buildings in his neighborhood. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all...

  No. No time to worry about that. Got to stay focused, he told himself, pushing the thought out of his mind.

  "Man, Xanthador must really be scraping the bottom of the loch with you three!" he shouted. "I wouldn't bother to scrape you off the bottom of my shoe!"

  He peppered the three beasts with an extended series of short ion blasts. They roared, more out of rage than pain. Then, as one, they all lunged at Winston with jaws gaping wide.

  It was the moment he had been waiting for. He leaped aside, out of the roadway, and kept running, putting as much distance as he could between himself and the creatures as they thrust their heads through the opening beneath the overpass.

  Seeing that they had missed, the serpents tried to rear back for another strike. But as they pulled back their heads jammed together and wedged against the ceiling of the tunnel.

  The creatures looked startled as, over and over they slid their heads back and forth, trying to free them. But it was no use. Alone, any one of them could have slipped out of the space without much effort. With all three of them jammed together, though, there simply wasn't enough room to maneuver.

  The reinforced overpass held. All the trapped creatures could do was roar in helpless fury. Which they did. A lot.

  Taking care to stay outside the serpents' considerably shortened reach, the Ghostbusters started to head out of the park.

  "Not bad," Venkman told Winston, giving him a slap on the back.

  "Just observing the leash laws," said Winston.

  "Next stop, Hayden Planetarium," said Egon.

  "And the main event," added Ray.

  "Smile for your public, boys," said Venkman.

  As they reached the street beyond the park, the crowd burst mto cheers and applause.

  Egon took a deep breath. Under his breath, he muttered, "So much for the preliminaries. Now for the hard part."