GHOSTBUSTERS: The Return Read online

  "Those boys of ours are surely something, ain't they?"

  "Yes, I'd have to say they're something, all right."

  "Bet you never expected to be in a place like this, watching your fella argue with a bunch of other gentlemen to see who'd get to run this city, now did you?"

  "No, I can't say as I did."

  Mama Zeddemore beamed from ear to ear. "Me neither. But I don't mind telling you that these last few weeks, I've been right over the moon. I always did know my baby would do me proud, but all of this... I'd be up on the roof every morning crowing like a rooster if I could." She chuckled. "Oh, but listen to me going on and on like an old lady. Why, I don't need to tell you all that. You must be feeling the same way yourself. Isn't that right, dear?"

  Maybe it was just Mama Zeddemore's infectious enthusiasm, but Dana realized that she did, indeed, feel the same way. Over the years, she'd enjoyed Peter. She'd appreciated him. She'd been infuriated by him on occasion. She'd even loved him, although she had no illusions about hearing him say the same anytime soon. And whenever he put his life on the line to save the world - or even Oscar and herself - she'd been proud of him, too.

  But this felt different, somehow. Dana couldn't quite put her finger on it. Maybe it was the way Peter was dressing up in nice suits every day, or the attention he was paying to serious issues. Or maybe it was the way he was spending his time in meetings instead of chasing ghosts with a ray gun. It almost felt like... like Peter was growing up.

  She looked back at Mama Zeddemore with a broad smile. "Yes," she agreed. "I know exactly how you feel."

  From the floor of the studio, the stage manager called for the audience's attention. "Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be going live in just over five minutes. When I call for quiet, please refrain from all conversation, and hold your applause until you see the applause signs lit."

  "You know, Mrs. Zed - Mama," said Dana, "Winston won't be appearing on camera today. Peter's the only one who'll be in the debate."

  "I know, dear."

  "So what brings you all the way out here today?"

  Mama Zeddemore looked at her in surprise. "Why, for my boy's running mate, naturally. Those boys are a team. It might not be Winston up there on that stage in person, but it's surely his team. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't come out to show my support? Ain't nobody going to know I'm proud of my boy if I don't act like it. I've got to wear that pride for all to see, now don't I?"

  Dana considered the point for a moment, letting it sink in. "Yes," she said slowly, "I suppose you do."

  She turned to Louis. "Can I have one of those pennants?"

  It took him a second to realize why she wanted it. Once he did, his face lit up. Immediately, he started to grope around beneath his seat to find the flags. "Sure! We can each wave one!" He handed one of each to Dana and Mama Zeddemore, holding onto the last one for himself.

  "Does this mean it's okay for me to open my shirt?"

  "Don't push it," Dana replied.

  They were racing across the park, heading downhill toward the boat basin, when they saw the first one. It was a boy, about ten years old with tousled hair, standing beside the fountain in the rotunda near the marina. He would have been thoroughly unremarkable if not for the fact that his skin, hair, eyes, and clothing were all the same unearthly shade of pale green. And if he hadn't been translucent.

  And if there had only been one of him.

  Ray spotted a second, identical figure on the footpath that led down to the boat basin. Egon caught sight of a third standing among the sailboats that were docked down below. There was no way to know how many more of them might be scattered across the miles of greenery that comprised the park.

  Ray waved his arm at Egon to get him to stop. "Hey," he said between wheezes, "Hold up a rninute."

  There were several reasons why Ray wanted to stop. Admittedly, some of it had to do with the physical exhaustion that came from running the equivalent of a few city blocks with an unlicensed nuclear reactor strapped to his back. Part of it came from not wanting to collide with the dozens of panicked park visitors who were fleeing the area after the explosion that he and Egon had heard.

  For the most part, though, it simply reflected an understandable level of caution. Most of their encounters with Xanthador's wraiths had been potentially lethal. Ray didn't want to rush too far in before they had the chance to figure out just what they were dealing with.

  For its part, all the trio of youthful spectres did was stare directly at him and Egon.

  "What do you think?" asked Ray, catching his breath.

  "Difficult to say. Clearly, it's a class-three, full-body manifestation with multiple concurrent instantiations. But until one of them actually does something..."

  "...it's hard to know what they're capable of," said Ray, completing the thought.

  "Do you know any urban legends about triplets?"

  "Not off the top of my head."

  The ghosts continued to stare at the two Ghostbusters. The young wraiths still hadn't budged. "Maybe they just came out to enjoy the river view," Ray said dryly. "It is a nice day out here."

  Without taking his eyes off Ray and Egon, the ghost near the fountain reached into its pocket and took out a small packet. It tipped back its head and poured the contents of the packet into its mouth.

  "I think we're boring it," said Egon.

  "What's that noise?" asked Ray.

  Egon cocked his head and listened. Sure enough, there was a faint fizzing, crackling noise coming from the general direction of the ghost near the fountain. There was something oddly familiar about the sound...

  "Fizzy candy!" Egon realized.

  "What?"

  "Fizzy candy. It's made from a base of sodium bicarbonate, so it fizzes and pops inside your mouth. I haven't seen any since I was a - "

  "Look out!" Ray shouted. "He's got a cola!"

  "For Xanthador!" cried the ghost.

  With a wicked smile, the spectre raised a translucent can of soda to its lips. Without a moment's hesitation, Ray grabbed Egon and hit the ground, taking cover behind the broad trunk of a nearby tree.

  And not a second too soon. The young ghost took a long swig from the can. Instantly, its head swelled to several times its previous size...

  ...and exploded with the force of a mortar shell.

  The blast sent debris flying in all directions and shook the very ground. Egon and Ray could feel the force of the shock wave pass over them, but the tree saved them by taking the brunt of the impact.

  As soon as the blast subsided, the Ghostbusters were scrambling to their feet, nutrona wands at the ready. "Fizzy candy and cola," said Egon. "Even I should have recognized that legend."

  "You knew that one?" said Ray, swinging his nutrona wand in an arc as he surveyed the scene.

  "Are you kidding? When I was a child, I spent weeks conducting experiments to try to replicate the phenomenon."

  "Did it work?"

  "No. But not long after, I discovered nitroglycerine."

  The explosion had torn up the area around the rotunda pretty badly. The fountain was completely gone. The only vestige that remained was a jagged, broken pipe that protruded from the ground, spewing a geyser of water up into the air. The blast had even blown the spectre's head clear off its shoulders.

  Not that it seemed to bother the headless ghost much. The spectre continued to stand nonchalantly beside the spot where the fountain had been, letting the water rain down through its ethereal body.

  Ray took aim at the decapitated spirit, but Egon laid a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Later. We've got more pressing problems to deal with first."

  Ray looked around and immediately saw what Egon meant. Both of the other two ghosts were raising identical packets of candy to their mouths.

  Egon zapped the closer one, pinning its arms to its sides as he bound the ghost in an ion stream. Not wanting to take any chances. he reeled the ghost in quickly to capture it in an ecto-trap before it could reveal
any other surprises. As the ghost vanished into the bright light of the trap and the top snapped shut, Ray briefly wondered what would happen if the spectre triggered an explosion inside the trap.

  In the meantime, he had drawn a bead on the final spectre, who was down at the slips where the boats were moored. The distance was considerably greater, which posed a problem for the range of their weapons. However, there was no time to try to get closer. He took the shot.

  Not surprisingly, his first shot went wide. But by pure luck, the stray blast snagged the ectoplasmic packet of tizzy candy instead. Ray used the ion stream to yank the candy packet away from the spectre's grasp.

  Enraged by the unexpected intervention, the ghost lunged for the candy. Ray saw his opening. He cut the ion stream, letting the packet fall, and immediately fired again. As the spectre snatched at the empty air where the packet had been a moment earlier, he caught and bound the ghost in a second stream. He hoisted the spectre into the air, reeled it in, and imprisoned it in a second ecto-trap.

  That left only the wraith near the fountain, who wasn't happy to have its Brothers thwarted so easily. While Egon and Ray had their hands full with the other two spectres, the one near the fountain raised its packet of candy and poured out a mouthful...

  But without a head, the ghost had no mouth to fill. The candy simply showered down to bounce harmlessly off the stump that had been its neck.

  Ray and Egon looked at each other and exchanged bemused smiles. "After you," said Ray.

  Egon adopted a much more leisurely pace this time. He took aim at the headless spirit and fired. Before another minute passed, the spectre joined its twin in one of the traps.

  Ray surveyed their surroundings one more time. "You think that's all of them?"

  "Let's see," Egon replied. He sheathed his nutrona wand and replaced it with a PKE meter. He turned in a slow circle, scanning the park in all directions. "Nothing in the immediate vicinity. Still, we should probably check the rest of the park to be on the safe side."

  Ray slipped his nutrona wand back in its sheath and wiped his brow. "There's the car to deal with, too."

  Egon powered down the PKE meter and sighed. "Oh. Right. I'd say we've got our day cut out for us."

  Even if the two of them weren't involved in a conversation, there would have been no reason for them to notice the tiny bubbles that were starting to ripple up in the river just beyond the boat basin.

  "Want to check the park out together, or should we divide and conquer? You take the park, and I'll take the car?" asked Ray.

  "Hard to say," Egon replied. "With a park of this size, it's going to take some time to check all of it."

  The bubbles were starting to get a little bigger now. They probably would have attracted attention if anyone had been watching as they burst on the surface. But no one was.

  "It'll be easier to clear the car out if we get started before the cement hardens all the way," said Ray.

  "True," Egon agreed. "However, depending on the number of remaining apparitions, it may take both of us to handle the situation."

  "Good thing Xanthador's not operating at full strength."

  The bubbles continued to grow. They were coming faster now, and rocking the nearest sailboats when they burst.

  "We could reduce our search time considerably by dividing the park in half," said Egon. "You start at the north end, and I'll start at the south."

  "And we meet in the middle," said Ray.

  "Or, if one of us encounters something before then, we can radio the other for assistance."

  Ray switched on the radio attached to his collar to make sure it was working. The resulting crackle of static assured him that it was.

  "And when we're done," he said, "We'll figure out how to deal with the car. Sounds like a plan."

  "All right. I suppose the most efficient - what's that?"

  Ray turned to see where Egon was pointing. The boat basin seemed almost alive, as dozens of boats bobbed, rocked, and swayed at awkward angles.

  Ray looked up at the clear sky. "Whatever it is, it's not natural. The weather's calm."

  Egon directed the PKE meter at the boat basin. "'Not natural' may be the understatement of the millennium. If these readings were Twinkies, you could feed the entire nation of Ghana for a year."

  Ray looked at the scene with a puzzled expression. "What do you think is causing it? Poltergeists? Possessed boats?"

  Egon shook his head. "It's not originating in the boats. Take a look at the water."

  They edged closer toward the bank of the river, studying the surface of the water. The water near the boat basin was bubbling furiously now - with bubbles as much as three feet in diameter. Fascinated, they kept their eyes glued to the anomaly and slowly drew their nutrona wands.

  "It's as though that one portion of the river is boiling," said Egon.

  "But there's no steam - no heat," said Ray. "With that much water boiling at that high a boil, you'd be able to feel it clear over here."

  "You don't happen to know of an appropriate urban legend that would shed some light on this, do you?"

  Ray shrugged. "Sorry. I got nothing."

  "In that case, let's consider this logically. Bubbles form when heat is applied, or the molecules are sped up in some way."

  "Or if air or some kind of gas is forced through it, like exhaling underwater or blowing through a straw."

  "In any event, it doesn't happen by itself," said Egon. "Some outside force has to act on the water to cause the phenomenon."

  "So if it's not the water itself... "

  "And, as far as we can tell, it's nothing above the water..."

  "Then it must be... "

  Before Ray could finish his sentence, the surface of the river erupted. The head of a tremendous serpent reared up out of the Hudson River. Its neck and head alone towered above the boat basin, stretching more than fifty feet into the sky. Its scaly hide was draped with moss and lichen, and reeked of rotting fish. The creature roared, its jaws gaping open to reveal rows of razor-sharp teeth.

  "...underwater," said Ray.

  "The Loch Ness Monster!" exclaimed Egon.

  In an unearthly screech, the monster howled, "FLEE! FLEE IN TERROR BEFORE THE MIGHT OF XANTHADOR!"

  "It may not be urban," said Ray, his voice quiet with wonder, "but it'd be hard to find a bigger legend. I just never heard of any sighting where it could talk."

  "It's not possible!" said Egon. "The power levels that would be required... They're thoroughly inconsixtent with anything we've seen Xanthador exhibit so far!"

  "Don't look now..." said Ray.

  More of the water was staring to bubble and churn. A moment later, two more of the creatures thrust their heads above the surface.

  "...but he brought the family."

  * * *

  "Fifteen minutes to air, Doctor Venkman. Time to take your mark on stage."

  A flicker of anxiety flashed through Venkman's eyes as he looked at the young production assistant, but the candidate recovered quickly. "Showtime!" he said, clapping his hands together with forced enthusiasm. "Make sure they get my good side."